speedyburd33 Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Ever go through one of those breakups that even months after it's over, it still bothers you every day? Still dreaming about her every night? Still kicking yourself in the A wishing you could take back some of the things you did? That is the worst. When does it ever end? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ilmor Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 I have been through that...and yes, it finally does end... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mywickedshelby Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 I have been through that...and yes, it finally does end... +1.....almost got married in 2002.....I backed out, it was the right decision, but I second guessed it for 2 years I was so in love with her....... it was a bad rut, I too kept wondering if I had done the right thing and the constant thinking about her seem to imply I didnt.... but I really did do the right thing, we never would have been truly happy together......deep down inside I know that........ in 2005 I met the love of my life and we were married in 2007.....Ive never been happier in my love life...... hang in there speedy, it sucks I know, but dont lament about love lost, be happy for the time you had with her, the love you shared, many never even get that, it may not feel like it, but you are ahead of the game.........your soulmate is out there...... and I hope someday you find her...........when life gives you lemons.......make lemonade.......hang in there bud, I hope it gets better fot you soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormeaston Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 WOW!!!!! Wicked your married?????? Then it's true....................there "IS" somebody for everyone. She must be a saint or close to it! just kidding! Hey speedy, women are just like war................there's always another one comming around. My experience has been that when you break-up with one you usually end up with something better later, it just takes time to happen so hang in there. My advice to you is to visit your local strip joint and enjoy yourself for awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NordicShelby Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Just be grateful that you haven't got the wrong woman pregnent, that never happened to me but it could have and If it did my life would be a lot different. I know a ton of dudes paying huge amounts of child support to women that were not right for them. If you truely love this woman and she truely loves you I am sure you will get back together and if not then just move on and eventually love will find you. There are so many chics out there I miss the days of picking up strange wild women on the internet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormeaston Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Yeah.....................I knocked one up..............then I had to kill her, that was a mess, get'n rid of the body, (woodchipper) the clean up, the cops bugg'n me all the time, it was no fun, don't get yourself in that situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Morris Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Wicked did marry a SAINT!!! I have met her and he married WAY above what he deserved!!!! Hang in there Speedy! Lives a roller coaster not a carosel! Lots of ups and downs, but thats what makes it worth living!! MM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedyburd33 Posted July 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Thanks for the advice guys... it's been a rough time the last few months. Some days i'll manage to keep it off my mind and other days it consumes me. Today happens to be a down day. I get like this and I don't know what to do. stormeaston: The strip club thing just doesn't work for me. I spend way too much money and end up with nothing disappointment after!!! What might help is the phone number to the girl in your avatar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DubbsFaris Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Yeah, I've been through it, my brothers been through it...my guess is most have been. When I read those words you posted it brought back a memory of me asking the exact same thing to my brother, and he gave me the right answer. From day to day, some will be worse and some will be better. Those dreams where you are asleep and everything is wonderful and then you wake up with fresh feelings all over again, yeah, those suck huge you know whats. But if you try to look at it from month to month, you will see progress, and in a year or two, the hurt will go away. Our psychologies are built to take loss and cope. It just takes time. Concentrate on other aspects of your life, and find something constructive to do with it that can help distract you. Just don't try to drown it out with the wrong things, and if you need a major change of scenery or lifestyle, then do it. The one thing that you can do at this point is- anything you want to do. You no longer have to justify your actions or answer for anything you do that is legal. Enjoy that, because once you get married and have kids, the sheer responsibility of it all takes all that away from you. Go out and live your life and meet new people and do something you always wanted to do! A final thought- as bad as it is right now for you, take these words to heart: If I didnt loose the love I have had before, I wouldn't have ended up with the one that I have now. Looking back, it was all for the better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedyburd33 Posted July 22, 2010 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 I'm doing what I can right now. None of this is enjoyable. I sure hope it doesn't take a year or two! Everything is so heavy right now. I think the worst part is that no matter how I think about it or how much I try to forget about it, or no matter how hard I try to just move on, there is still a part of me that believes that we will get back together. I know that I need to lose any thought of that for this to get better. I also try to remember that everything happens for a reason and God's plan is never clear. I am just so impatient and when something goes wrong it always hits me very hard. I feel like the hill i'm climbing is a very steep, and long hill. A huge change of scenery is most definitely needed. There just isn't a way to do it right now. What I'm also trying to forget is the thought that most of this is my own fault. It has always been very hard for me to let go of my mistakes. I have made a habit in the past of just about torturing myself, and really beating myself up over things I shouldn't have done or ways I shouldn't have acted. I guess in a way I do a lot of these things to myself. Letting go of all this is a challenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mywickedshelby Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Wicked did marry a SAINT!!! I have met her and he married WAY above what he deserved!!!! Hang in there Speedy! Lives a roller coaster not a carosel! Lots of ups and downs, but thats what makes it worth living!! MM Thanks MM.......I think? :fool: for speedy....she would never have been in my life if I didnt go thru the pain of the last breakup.......it was meant to be.... it may not feel like it, but it does get a little better each day speedy, there is some good advice here........go out and live live live......... as imposible as that might sound....it is the tonic your brain needs to move on...... someday soon someone will light up your life....hang in there bud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Hawkins Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Ever go through one of those breakups that even months after it's over, it still bothers you every day? Still dreaming about her every night? Still kicking yourself in the A wishing you could take back some of the things you did? That is the worst. When does it ever end? It never really ends....believe me, I know. I will be 49 in a few weeks, back when I was 28, I had a girlfriend that I know was "The One". We broke up about 9 Months later and I have never gotten over her. BUT, I can tell you that you will eventually, not think about her as much. Since then, I have been Married and had a few Girlfriends and even though I am single now, I do want to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with and, it wont be her. But I will never forget her and there will always be a place in my Heart for her but that is as far as it will go. Good Luck, Take time to grieve, and slowly start getting out more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stormeaston Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Thanks for the advice guys... it's been a rough time the last few months. Some days i'll manage to keep it off my mind and other days it consumes me. Today happens to be a down day. I get like this and I don't know what to do. stormeaston: The strip club thing just doesn't work for me. I spend way too much money and end up with nothing disappointment after!!! What might help is the phone number to the girl in your avatar. Hey................easy there! that's "MY" ol lady!!! P.S. When your at those places don't sit in the front row all the time, you won't spend as much, but then again you won't have as much fun either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGT/SC#0471 Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 When you flip through the radio dial almost every song is about someone with a broken heart....you'll find another its just the way it is in life....learn from the experience, get busy doing something you enjoy and your thoughts will clear up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Morris Posted July 22, 2010 Report Share Posted July 22, 2010 Wicked, You know We LOVE yall!!!! Dale is a Saint and YOU do deserve her!! Time heals ALL wounds!! MM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regalt87 Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 You may not think so now but events like this make us stronger and better. We learn some hard lessons sometimes. Regrets, we all have some that will never go away. In order to put those to rest you must accept the fact that we are not with out flaws and weaknesses. You can't dwell on it but must acknowledge what changes are necessary to improve. You just have to move forward and believe there will be a better day. As long as you stay open minded to that, that better day will come and possibly sooner than you think. Its hard to turn a page and close a chapter on our life that meant a lot to us. But sometimes we have no choice. Identify changes you feel you need to make and set goals to be the person you want to be and live it. A positive aptitude is a tremendous atribute. Ofton times this is also accomponied by humor and most people who have that are happy. Women see that. Hang in there and Good Luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grabber Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 I also try to remember that everything happens for a reason and God's plan is never clear. I don't know you, but you mentioned someone that is very close to me. Therefore I consider you a brother....in Christ. Take a moment to reflect on this video. He's there for you! You can count on it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiaCobra Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Women will come and go in your lifetime. What you need to do is make good memories with them while you're with them. When they go, let them go. Just hold onto the memories and await the next one. Life is good man ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUFDRAFT Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 You may not think so now but events like this make us stronger and better. We learn some hard lessons sometimes. Regrets, we all have some that will never go away. In order to put those to rest you must accept the fact that we are not with out flaws and weaknesses. You can't dwell on it but must acknowledge what changes are necessary to improve. You just have to move forward and believe there will be a better day. As long as you stay open minded to that, that better day will come and possibly sooner than you think. Its hard to turn a page and close a chapter on our life that meant a lot to us. But sometimes we have no choice. Identify changes you feel you need to make and set goals to be the person you want to be and live it. A positive aptitude is a tremendous atribute. Ofton times this is also accomponied by humor and most people who have that are happy. Women see that. Hang in there and Good Luck. Well said, bro! You know I've been there! Hang in there, Speedy! :happy feet: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
svtkeith Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Sorry to hear you're going through that Speedy...I'm in no position to give you advice as I've been with the same wome since 1977 and happy...Listen to what these guys went through and be greatful you're healthy...Someone will come along and I'm sure will be the right person for you...For now you're doing the right thing by telling us how you feel we are family and will help all we can...Take care my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
William Rodgers Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Your only 27 years old, do not sweat it. I look back and all the Girls I was with through my twenties are NOT what I would want now. I had fun with many of them, although only had a few that I got serious with. I ended up with the perfect wife, she is unbelievable. Now I have twin 4 year old boys and a 11 month old baby girl. I was 32 when I finally got married. I am not saying you can not be happy married earlier, but I took advantage of my 20's and had a ton of fun. If I was married with kids none of that would have been possible. Pick up a hobby, hang out with family and good friends, I have learned they are more important than anything. Good luck, it will take time, but it will get better. Try not to think about getting back together, the more you think about that the less likely it will happen. It is a fact that women are attracted to those that treat them worse. Keep your head up!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SexyStang Posted August 1, 2010 Report Share Posted August 1, 2010 Your only 27 years old, do not sweat it. I look back and all the Girls I was with through my twenties are NOT what I would want now. I had fun with many of them, although only had a few that I got serious with. I ended up with the perfect wife, she is unbelievable. Now I have twin 4 year old boys and a 11 month old baby girl. I was 32 when I finally got married. I am not saying you can not be happy married earlier, but I took advantage of my 20's and had a ton of fun. If I was married with kids none of that would have been possible. Pick up a hobby, hang out with family and good friends, I have learned they are more important than anything. Good luck, it will take time, but it will get better. Try not to think about getting back together, the more you think about that the less likely it will happen. It is a fact that women are attracted to those that treat them worse. Keep your head up!!!!!!!! This is very true and I've read this in an interesting article called "Hurt by the one you Love" it's states 35% of Women continuously "Allow" this kind of treatment!! Speedy I'm very sorry about your break up I can feel your pain just reading your post but you are still young give it some time you will find the right Woman down the road I promise..... I do believe that eventually, whether you are 40, 50, or even in your 60's there is that special someone for everyone...... and from my past experience and thought it was the right thing to do at the time, I married my high school sweetheart way to young at the age of 21 and I Love our Son he means everything to me but do regret not giving myself the chance to enjoy life much more in my younger days.... :fool: I have to laugh it's the only way I'll get through that thought!! And Congrats Carnut12 for finding the "Perfect Wife" I'm sure she was well the worth the wait...... :happy feet: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UK PONY Posted August 6, 2010 Report Share Posted August 6, 2010 You may not think so now but events like this make us stronger and better. We learn some hard lessons sometimes. Regrets, we all have some that will never go away. In order to put those to rest you must accept the fact that we are not with out flaws and weaknesses. You can't dwell on it but must acknowledge what changes are necessary to improve. You just have to move forward and believe there will be a better day. As long as you stay open minded to that, that better day will come and possibly sooner than you think. Its hard to turn a page and close a chapter on our life that meant a lot to us. But sometimes we have no choice. Identify changes you feel you need to make and set goals to be the person you want to be and live it. A positive aptitude is a tremendous atribute. Ofton times this is also accomponied by humor and most people who have that are happy. Women see that. Hang in there and Good Luck. Great advice. Hang in there speedy - at 27 there is plenty of timeleft for you to find "the one". I'm 10 years ahead of you & earlier this year broke off a three year relationship with a woman I considered my closest friend. There a re times, right now in fact, that I regret it but for the most part I know it was the right thing to do for both of us. As much as it hurt my pride at the time I took on board all of the things she pointed out that I was not good at in our relationship and will carry those lessons learnt forward in life. I moved shortly after the breakup and met a woman who I fell in love with, got engaged to and who is currently breaking my heart with her inability to decide if she rushed into things with me - this caused her to return the engagement ring I bought for her. As you can imagine I'm having a hard time lately too but I've been around long enough to know that as much as it will hurt me if we cannot resolve the issue the world will keep on turning and life will go on. If you're fortunate enough to have family & friends close by let them know that you need their support and they undoubtedly will be there for you. I'm in a new city where I know a handful of people, don't even know them all that well yet, so am largely trying to cope with this on my own which makes it infinitely more difficult but I still know that I'll survive the ordeal whatever the outcome is. Distract yourself by whatever, legal, means neccesary & let time do it's job of healing. You may always look back & wonder "what if" but you should realise that these regrets make us stronger, better people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe G Posted August 7, 2010 Report Share Posted August 7, 2010 as I've been with the same wome since 1977 and happy... Dang! You're old Keith! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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