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The Darwin Awards

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If these are not the most current, my apology. I had not seen these.


The Darwin Awards


Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are

bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.



Here is the glorious winner:


1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James

Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the

barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


And now, the honorable mentions:


2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting

machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his

insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of

its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also

lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.


3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car

during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a

woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus

driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be

transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to

admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and

offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the

passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients

were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception

wasn't discovered for 3 days.


5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious

head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he

received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying

to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was



6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the

counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,

the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which

the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and

fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he

got from the drawer... $15. [if someone points a gun at you and gives

you money, is a crime committed?]


7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided

that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window,

grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it

over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the

would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store

window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man

grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the

woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.

Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in

the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of

the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he

replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse



9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a

Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 AM., flashed a gun, and

demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't

open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered

onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The

man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked

on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police

arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor

home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted

to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the

motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined

to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.


In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends

and family....unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a

distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are

distant and hope they remain lost.


*** Remember..... They walk among us!!!*** And They Breed !!! And they


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