stormeaston Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Excerpts from a Dog's Diary....... 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary.... Day 983 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jdscooby Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mywickedshelby Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 thats it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MY500SS Posted April 7, 2010 Report Share Posted April 7, 2010 "He is obviously retarded." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XLR8 Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 Dogs Rule! Especially one's named Shelby. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rag Top Day Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 Yup Dogs Rule! And their COOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
08SHELBYSS Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 Ain't that the truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8acobra Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 As the story points out... Cats rule and dogs are "obviously retarded". :ninja: <-- Cat <-- Dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Hawkins Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 As the story points out... Cats rule and dogs are "obviously retarded". :ninja: <-- Cat <-- Dog Oh Yeah????? Do this..... Sneak up behind a Cat and scare the crap out of it (with out touching it) and see what happens then do the same to a Dog. The cat jumps and runs away............ The Dog jumps and attacks you........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8acobra Posted April 9, 2010 Report Share Posted April 9, 2010 Oh Yeah????? Do this..... Sneak up behind a Cat and scare the crap out of it (with out touching it) and see what happens then do the same to a Dog. The cat jumps and runs away............ The Dog jumps and attacks you........... Sorry, but I'm gonna raise the BS flag... First, you can't sneak up behind my cat, even when he's sleeping. Second, I've had and know people who have dogs that "piss and quiver" when you scare them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XLR8 Posted April 11, 2010 Report Share Posted April 11, 2010 Sorry, but I'm gonna raise the BS flag... First, you can't sneak up behind my cat, even when he's sleeping. Second, I've had and know people who have dogs that "piss and quiver" when you scare them. The pissing and qiuivering dogs you speak of are not real dogs. Get a real dog. How many cats do you know that would protect their own family? Meow, meow, hiss, hiss, that'll scare an intruder off. You can keep your cat. Not to mention how cats go right from the liter box to your kitchen counters where you prepare food. Think about that next time you're preparing a sandwich. :barf: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RACERX009 Posted April 11, 2010 Report Share Posted April 11, 2010 You guys say I'm wacked Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SicShelby Posted April 11, 2010 Report Share Posted April 11, 2010 The wife let me get the Shelby and shortly thereafter she pulled the "YOU got a CAR" when an add for a free kitten came up on Craig'slist. So, she got a kitten. Buying a GT500 and that's all she asked for? No problem with the cat! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
svtkeith Posted April 11, 2010 Report Share Posted April 11, 2010 The pissing and qiuivering dogs you speak of are not real dogs. Get a real dog. How many cats do you know that would protect their own family? Meow, meow, hiss, hiss, that'll scare an intruder off. You can keep your cat. Not to mention how cats go right from the liter box to your kitchen counters where you prepare food. Think about that next time you're preparing a sandwich. :barf: We had one on the farm back in the day that made so called real dogs piss and qiuiver... He was a bobcat that we had from birth and lived with us for 171/2 years...He was 45 lbs of jaws and claws I even seen him rip the azz of a black bear pretty good and drove him off the property...He wouldn't let anyone touch any of us and for some reason he sorta over protected my younger brother...The family missed him dearly when he passed on. Oh and I mean he was a wild bobcat not a house cat with no tail by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i8acobra Posted April 11, 2010 Report Share Posted April 11, 2010 The pissing and qiuivering dogs you speak of are not real dogs. Get a real dog. How many cats do you know that would protect their own family? Meow, meow, hiss, hiss, that'll scare an intruder off. You can keep your cat. Not to mention how cats go right from the liter box to your kitchen counters where you prepare food. Think about that next time you're preparing a sandwich. :barf: That's what the shotgun's for. My cat isn't stupid. No counters, tables or any other furniture other than the couch and the bed. Trained him with a water bottle as a kitten. Cats can be trained just like dogs. We had one on the farm back in the day that made so called real dogs piss and qiuiver... He was a bobcat that we had from birth and lived with us for 171/2 years...He was 45 lbs My next cat's going to be an F1 or F2 Savannah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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