The Americans With No Abilities Act

[stump_breaker]

Bulletin:

Washington, DC - President Barack Obama and the Democrat controlled Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act. AWNAA is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

 

'Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,' said California Senator Barbara Boxer. 'We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.'

 

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S employer of Persons of Inability.

 

Private-sector industries with good records of non-discrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%) the airline industry (68%) and car dealerships (59%). At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

 

Under The Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million 'middle man' positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

 

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given so as to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

 

Finally, the AWNAA contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, 'Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?'

 

'As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,' said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan, due to her inability to remember 'rightey tightey, lefty loosey.' 'This new law should be real good for people like me,' Gertz added.

 

With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Said Senator Richard Durbin (D-IL): 'As a Senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.

[Dig-It]

It's a sad state of affairs when this doesn't sound unbelievable anymore.

[DDT]

And I thaught Americans with no abilities just become Car Salesmen?????????

[Boss Doctor]

"The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions...."

 

This part of the law would be redundant. Corporations have been promoting people to their highest level of incompetence for many decades. In fact, it's Standard Operating Procedure taught in graduate level classes of prestigious schools all over America - such as The Harvard School of Business.

[CobraCrazy]

An American with No Ability. . . sounds like Bush to me. . . no wait I'm wrong he had the ability to screw up our country like no one else in our history!

[SicShelby]

...'Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,'... employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.'...

 

...Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest U.S employer of Persons of Inability...

 

... Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%)...

 

...'Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?'...

 

...Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Michigan, due to her inability to remember 'rightey tightey, lefty loosey.' '...

 

Sooo.... those of us that actually know what we are doing aren't going to be rewarded as much, or "specially"? And no wonder why the Post Office and DMV work in reverse sometimes!!

 

And man... forgot "right tightey, lefty loosey"!!!! Good thing she worked for GM!!!

 

OUTRAGEOUS. I just... find this VERY interesting. I can understand what they are trying to do but... I just don't think this is the right way to do it. IS there a right way to do this? Now I'm worried that the gal who got it wrong is going to show up as the surgeon when my Dad gets heart surgery!! UNBELIEVABLE!!

 

[SicShelby]

"The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions...."

 

This part of the law would be redundant. Corporations have been promoting people to their highest level of incompetence for many decades. In fact, it's Standard Operating Procedure taught in graduate level classes of prestigious schools all over America - such as The Harvard School of Business.

 

:tease:

[Secondo]

 

That is a joke, right?

 

[turnsignaldelete]

And I thaught Americans with no abilities just become Car Salesmen?????????

An American with No Ability. . . sounds like Bush to me. . . no wait I'm wrong he had the ability to screw up our country like no one else in our history!

'Lefties', as predictable as Obama's next, reason to move the 'United States', into, Socialism, and then if the,'Leftist Sheep' will follow, into 'Communism.

 

Communism is an easy sell', to Democrats, who think, it's cool, to loath and 'talk negatively about, your Country. Socialism/Communism also is preferred by Leftist, Obama'ites, who think it's cool to sit on your Butt, and blame others for your short comings and failures.

 

So,IOW, anyone like Obama, or, any government doctrines, that supports, hires, pays, for low achievement and low production, is ,'A OK' with American Democorate/Leftist's. That's why so many Democrats think, Communism is Good, because in a Communist society, under achievement is the expected. Perfect for Democrats,'A Little something for a little labor.

 

Everyone has the same,' Nothing'.

 

No jealousy, no envy of your neighbors new boat, just ,'Equal Failure' for all. The Dream of Obama, and all of his , cool aide drinking Comrade, American Democrats/Leftist/Socialist/Communists.

[stump_breaker]

No, this is not a real news article. It came from the Onion a few years back...

[JeffIsHereToo]

It's a sad state of affairs when this doesn't sound unbelievable anymore.

 

 

Sad state of affairs when you guys, not satisified with reality, have to make up stuff like this to work yourelves into a tea party frenzy!

[NordicShelby]

No, this is not a real news article. It came from the Onion a few years back...

 

The onion yes everything thats in the Onion is of course true. :D :rolleyes: :unsure: :wacko:

[CobraCrazy]

'Lefties', as predictable as Obama's next, reason to move the 'United States', into, Socialism, and then if the,'Leftist Sheep' will follow, into 'Communism.

 

Communism is an easy sell', to Democrats, who think, it's cool, to loath and 'talk negatively about, your Country. Socialism/Communism also is preferred by Leftist, Obama'ites, who think it's cool to sit on your Butt, and blame others for your short comings and failures.

 

So,IOW, anyone like Obama, or, any government doctrines, that supports, hires, pays, for low achievement and low production, is ,'A OK' with American Democorate/Leftist's. That's why so many Democrats think, Communism is Good, because in a Communist society, under achievement is the expected. Perfect for Democrats,'A Little something for a little labor.

 

Everyone has the same,' Nothing'.

 

No jealousy, no envy of your neighbors new boat, just ,'Equal Failure' for all. The Dream of Obama, and all of his , cool aide drinking Comrade, American Democrats/Leftist/Socialist/Communists.

 

When your brain shorts out and stops functioning (which happens often), the commas in your rants increase.

[SicShelby]

It's a sad state of affairs when this doesn't sound unbelievable anymore.

 

True or not I agree with you!!!

[stump_breaker]

The onion yes everything thats in the Onion is of course true. :D :rolleyes: :unsure: :wacko:

 

What the heck are you talking about???

[NordicShelby]

What the heck are you talking about???

 

Basically I was trying to be funny. I love reading the Onion its funny as hell and more or less was joking that everything in there is true (which anybody who reads the Onion knows its just for fun and nothing in there is true)

[Boss Doctor]

I didn't know it was from the Onion, but I thought it was obviously either a spoof or a transcription of one of Pelosi's dreams.

 

Lighten-up guys!

[stump_breaker]

Basically I was trying to be funny. I love reading the Onion its funny as hell and more or less was joking that everything in there is true (which anybody who reads the Onion knows its just for fun and nothing in there is true)

 

Oh, I just reread in a different context and I get what you were saying now.

Sporting a nasty head cold today and the brain aint working right.

 

 

Yep, a nice fat head cold just in time for our new granddaughter to be born next week. Aint that lovely.....

[Dig-It]

Sad state of affairs when you guys, not satisified with reality, have to make up stuff like this to work yourelves into a tea party frenzy!

Jeff, I was just commenting on how close this fabricated article is to the reality that both political parties would like the citizens of this country to believe.

 

Please don't take these as a personal attack from me, but here's some questions for you: When you say "you guys" and "yourselves", to whom are you referring? Republicans? And are you saying that there weren't any Democrats, Independents, or other political party affiliations present at the resent protests? The demographics of the "Party" goers might surprise you just as they surprised me.

 

Personally, I don't consider myself as belonging to either political party. Both of my parents were Democrats because they thought that party would provide for our family and our community the best. They didn't have a problem with me voting along Republican lines later in life, as they new that I was doing what I was taught - voting with the best interest of my family and community in mind.

 

However, for the longest time now, I don't believe either party as a whole acts with the best intentions for the country at the forefront of theirs thoughts. I believe that the professional politicians we have in office act out of power seeking selfishness. I don't view each individual elected official this way, just when I view the parties as a group. That's why I feel like a disenfranchised American without true representation anymore. I, along with many, vote for the "public servant" who I perceive will hurt my family and community the least.

 

(Steps off soapbox.)

[DDT]

'Lefties', as predictable as Obama's next, reason to move the 'United States', into, Socialism, and then if the,'Leftist Sheep' will follow, into 'Communism.

 

Communism is an easy sell', to Democrats, who think, it's cool, to loath and 'talk negatively about, your Country. Socialism/Communism also is preferred by Leftist, Obama'ites, who think it's cool to sit on your Butt, and blame others for your short comings and failures.

 

So,IOW, anyone like Obama, or, any government doctrines, that supports, hires, pays, for low achievement and low production, is ,'A OK' with American Democorate/Leftist's. That's why so many Democrats think, Communism is Good, because in a Communist society, under achievement is the expected. Perfect for Democrats,'A Little something for a little labor.

 

Everyone has the same,' Nothing'.

 

No jealousy, no envy of your neighbors new boat, just ,'Equal Failure' for all. The Dream of Obama, and all of his , cool aide drinking Comrade, American Democrats/Leftist/Socialist/Communists.

 

Same old "BS" Rant from you..........."STOP WHINING"!!!!!!! You will feel better.........

[kb67]

Jeff, I was just commenting on how close this fabricated article is to the reality that both political parties would like the citizens of this country to believe.

 

Please don't take these as a personal attack from me, but here's some questions for you: When you say "you guys" and "yourselves", to whom are you referring? Republicans? And are you saying that there weren't any Democrats, Independents, or other political party affiliations present at the resent protests? The demographics of the "Party" goers might surprise you just as they surprised me.

 

Personally, I don't consider myself as belonging to either political party. Both of my parents were Democrats because they thought that party would provide for our family and our community the best. They didn't have a problem with me voting along Republican lines later in life, as they new that I was doing what I was taught - voting with the best interest of my family and community in mind.

 

However, for the longest time now, I don't believe either party as a whole acts with the best intentions for the country at the forefront of theirs thoughts. I believe that the professional politicians we have in office act out of power seeking selfishness. I don't view each individual elected official this way, just when I view the parties as a group. That's why I feel like a disenfranchised American without true representation anymore. I, along with many, vote for the "public servant" who I perceive will hurt my family and community the least.

 

(Steps off soapbox.)

 

Very well stated its not a issue of one side or the other its the mindset and attitude of the people that are supposed to be there to work for us to make a better nation.