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Love making tips for you older guys.


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Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

 

 

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

 

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

 

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

 

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

 

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..

 

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

 

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

 

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

 

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

 

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . .

 

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

 

'OLD' IS WHEN..

'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You're not sure if these are facts or jokes

 

 

 

"Let's get it on"

 

:mail:

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

 

 

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

 

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

 

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

 

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

 

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..

 

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

 

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

 

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

 

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

 

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . .

 

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

 

'OLD' IS WHEN..

'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You're not sure if these are facts or jokes

 

 

 

"Let's get it on"

 

:mail:

 

 

Too dang funny :hysterical::hysterical: Thanks for posting.

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HEEE, :hysterical: Heeeee, whew, thanks for the laugh. I needed on today. :hysterical:

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Old guys need to take it slow and have a good rhythm. Sunday morning is good. Use the church bells as your guide; in on the ding and out on the dong. As long as the ice cream truck doesn't show up, you should be ok.

 

 

:hysterical2::hysterical2:

 

Yep, spitting coffee all over the keyboard with that one.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors

 

 

1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

 

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

 

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

 

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

 

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember..

 

6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

 

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act..

 

8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.

 

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!

 

10. Don't even think about trying it twice. .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . .. . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . .

 

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love,' and you answer, 'Pick one; I can't do both!'

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police .

 

'OLD' IS WHEN..

'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take a laxative today.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot..

 

'OLD' IS WHEN...

An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom.

 

'OLD' IS WHEN....

You're not sure if these are facts or jokes

 

 

 

"Let's get it on"

 

:mail:

 

Now Stormeaston, let's be kind here. Have you ever heard the story of the "tortoise and the hare" (for you young guys thats a turtle and a 'wabbit') ?? Old yes, slow maybe, but as long as there's a smile on your partner's face when the deed is done, then mission accomplished. Please note, you may have to dim the lights a bit to get beyond some of the facts you listed but what the h--l !!!!!

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I take it these apply to you.hysterical.gif

 

 

 

 

 

It depends on what you consider "old".

 

:hysterical:

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Now Stormeaston, let's be kind here. Have you ever heard the story of the "tortoise and the hare" (for you young guys thats a turtle and a 'wabbit') ?? Old yes, slow maybe, but as long as there's a smile on your partner's face when the deed is done, then mission accomplished. Please note, you may have to dim the lights a bit to get beyond some of the facts you listed but what the h--l !!!!!

 

 

She could be smiling because YOU are finally done......... :hysterical:

 

How do you know that the Smile is just not GAS? :hysterical:

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