Sherri Leicht Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least: 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mywickedshelby Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 I think I know that guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SGT/SC2873 Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 I am going to have to use some of these next time wife says we are going shopping! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejrail Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 I am going to have to use some of these next time wife says we are going shopping! Good luck with that. I've tried these and more to no avail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MY500SS Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 "put M&M's on layaway". Some of those worked for me. Marji no longer asks me to go shopping with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejrail Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 "put M&M's on layaway". Some of those worked for me. Marji no longer asks me to go shopping with her. The closest I got to getting out of shopping was when I poked the points on the bra cups while making "boing" sounds and then laughing when they popped back out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mywickedshelby Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 "put M&M's on layaway". Some of those worked for me. Marji no longer asks me to go shopping with her. I think its just cause Marji is nice...................and smart! Dale lets me slide on shopping too.......she just doesnt need the hassle! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MY500SS Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 The closest I got to getting out of shopping was when I poked the points on the bras cups while making "boing" sounds and the laughing when they popped back out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SexyStang Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 My man Loves to shop with me..... :happy feet: cuz I try stuff on for him.... then I have to call the EMT's.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mywickedshelby Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 My man Loves to shop with me..... :happy feet: cuz I try stuff on for him.... then I have to call the EMT's.... marry him.......and then see what happens! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Hawkins Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 I think I know that guy! I think I AM THAT GUY..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MY500SS Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 marry him.......and then see what happens! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MY500SS Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 If you really want to get out of shopping, just leave the shopping cart in the middle of the isle. Boy did I get . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejrail Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 My wife, Wal Mart department manager for 7 years, tells me there is an unwritten shopping cart rule that says you are supposed to stay to the right in an aisle. I am alway bumping in to people. Nobody told me about this. After too many collisions, I'm off to the bra aisle any way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SexyStang Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 marry him.......and then see what happens! Hmmm you just made me rethink my strategy...... And BTW I already knew that..... :jackinbox: I was married once already..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secondo Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 marry him.......and then see what happens! Easy- Just make sure she doesn't have any wedding cake! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeCMM Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 I think I'm one of the lucky ones. She hates shopping. I don't think she's seen the inside of a store in over a year. That includes groceries. I also know of a Team Shelby member who's wife is the same way. Let's see if he cares to comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cobra 07 Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' And last, but not least: 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. Why didn't think of that thanks for the smile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secondo Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Women vs. Men shopping: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MY500SS Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Women vs. Men shopping: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ejrail Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Women vs. Men shopping: I know that routine all too well, having a wife and raising two daughters. I'll bet I look like the biggest perv in the Salt Lake area, too. I have spent countless hours standing outside of every ladies room and changing room in the area. I know where they ALL are. I'm sure I'm in lots of security videos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrfarmdog Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Women vs. Men shopping: If I am reading the picture correctly the woman never even went into the Gap either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secondo Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 I know that routine all too well, having a wife and raising two daughters. I'll bet I look like the biggest perv in the Salt Lake area, too. I have spent countless hours standing outside of every ladies room and changing room in the area. I know where they ALL are. I'm sure I'm in lots of security videos I know how you feel- they need to have a 'Men's waiting area' outside of ladies changing rooms! If I am reading the picture correctly the woman never even went into the Gap either. You are correct! Failed mission and still managed to spend over $800! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mywickedshelby Posted November 19, 2009 Report Share Posted November 19, 2009 Women vs. Men shopping: so tru..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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